


From The Top

by swindalynn



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Chlodine Week 2018, F/F, fun fluff angst and romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-01 00:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15762594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swindalynn/pseuds/swindalynn
Summary: Collecting the ficlets I wrote for Chlodine Week 2018.1.My Pleasure, Treasure- A potential client also happens to be an ex of Nadine's. To her dismay, she has a type, and that type is overly fond of making her blush.2.The Coin- The coin was a kind of game to them Chloe started when she was late to their first date and needed an out. It became something neither of them would have ever dreamed of.3.Happy Birthday, Buddha- It’s still early days for them. Nadine is preoccupied with the thought that their partnership has a shelf life4.Menagerie- After dropping Chloe off at the airport, Nadine discovers Chloe hid some items around her flat for her to find. The first few were cute. After the fourth or fifth, it was clear something was up.5.Partners- Set during their separation during The Coin, this is a small exploration in how they went from separated to partners topartners.





	1. My Pleasure, Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A potential client turns out to be an ex of Nadine's. As it turns out, she has a type.

Nadine knew it was a bad idea the minute she heard the name Tasneem Van de Merwe. The foreboding knowledge sat in her gut like a gizzard stone, an ever present weight she carried with her that was absolutely useless. She should never have let Chloe talk her into this, shouldn't have even let on she recognized it. But she had and that landed her here, in this classy black tie establishment dressed in a nicely tailored pin-striped suit, watching as her current and her ex, because it was these two specifically, bonded over none other than Nadine, herself, in bed. 

“Oh, that finger flick?” Tasneem said, her eyes lighting up with smug recognition. “I taught her that. Good to see she's put it to good use.” 

“So, it was you!” Chloe reached a hand across the table and gave Tasneem a firm shake. “Every woman who came after thanks you. She's phenomenal at it.” 

“Oh, god.” Nadine rolled her eyes. 

Tasneem laughed. “Hold on to this one, Nadine. I like her.” 

Nadine scrunched her nose but said nothing. She caught sight of Chloe from the corner of her eye, caught the small amused smile that graced her lips. Nadine smoothed a hand over her hair pulled back tight and looked away, suddenly embarrassed. You're a riot, Ross, she thought. Sit through this whole conversation unscathed, but a pretty smile is what undoes you.

“Tell me, Chloe, does she still do that little twist of her hip?” Tasneem asked. “You know, when she's nearly there-.”

“But just can't quite?” Chloe finished. “Yes! Play it right and it's almost a little dance of desperation.”

“Now, that's just a lie,” Nadine said. “I do nothing of the sort.” 

Chloe stopped her by placing a hand on her knee, gave it a squeeze, and said, “Treasure, I wouldn't make you wait so long if I wasn't enjoying the show.”

Nadine reared back at first astonished and then absolutely mortified. Her face burned and all she could do was scowl and look away, trying to maintain something of her dignity. Chloe merely smiled, unbuttoned the cuff of her white shirt, and rolled the sleeves to her elbow. She had insisted they both wear suits this evening, each with different cuts that suited them individually. The two of them cut a sharp image walking through the door of this place. 

It was a good choice, Nadine had to admit. They looked exceptional next to Tasneem who, even at the end of middle age, could still make heads turn in a dress of black and gold. Tasneem came from old money and could trace her lineage all the way back to the first Van de Merwes who arrived with the Dutch East India Company centuries ago, but her nanee, her mother's mother, was full-blooded East Indian. Aside from her name, the lineage showed in her high cheekbones and the shape of her eyes. 

Seeing her beside Chloe was almost unnerving and only heightened their similarities and Nadine knew Chloe would never let her live this down. 

“I'm a little sad I never got to see this dance,” Tasneem drew back as her laughter subsided. “She was so young when I had her.”

Nadine saw the interest this piqued in Chloe before she could express it and groaned when Chloe leaned forward and asked, “How young is 'so young' here?”

“Young enough I had to worry about her father finding out,” Tasneem said with a wicked smile, then smacked Nadine's shoulder with an established familiarity almost twenty years in the making. “Nadi, was I your first ever or just your first woman?”

“You are terrible people and I hate you both,” Nadine said, lifting her old fashioned to her lips and finishing the rest, hoping the low lighting and the tilt of her head would help hide the heat on her cheeks. 

“No, you don't. I think that's pretty evident by the conversation at hand, love,” Chloe said smoothly with a confident grin. 

“And look at us,” Tasneem leaned across the table to grab her attention, motioning to all of Chloe and then to all of herself. “You clearly have a type.” 

Nadine grimaced and waved down a waiter to order them another round. She knew this was a bad decision from the start, introducing these two. 

“So, tell me, Chloe,” Tasneem said, lazily tracing the rim of her highball glass. She nodded toward Nadine. “You called her 'treasure' earlier. What's that all about?” 

“Oh, that?” Chloe laughed and sat back almost relieved. “That came from a joke. Anything to make her blush, you know. There's not much else to it.”

Tasneem pushed the highball aside, the condensation that pooled around the base of the glass leaving a trail of water behind. She primly placed a napkin over it and leaned across the table once more, undaunted. 

“No, that's not quite right, is it? That's not why you still use it,” she said and her voice was smooth and low, a dangerous purr Nadine knew all too well. 

“Tas, come on,” Nadine said with a sigh. “Stop it.” 

“It's just a question.”

Chloe stared back at her, ignoring the goosebumps rising on her arms from the question or the cold room. Nadine didn't know. The humor from earlier had disappeared and all that was left was a terse, calculated air.

“Sorry to disappoint, but that's all there is,” Chloe finally said with a small defiant smile, choosing her words carefully. “There's nothing else to tell on my end.” 

Tasneem returned her smile then drew her hand from her chin and pointed at her. She said, “You're not a very honest woman, are you, Chloe?” 

Nadine knew what Tasneem was after, knew that Chloe couldn't give her the answer she wanted, that she wouldn't believe Chloe anyway, no matter what she said. She let her hand drop heavy on the table, surprising both woman and sat up straighter with a heavy sigh.

“I said it, all right? I'm the one who said it first,” she said. “She took it from me.”

“I'm not too surprised there, I suppose.” Tasneem sighed, feigning disappointment and shook her head. “But 'treasure', Nadi? Really?”

“Ja, really. Because we look for priceless long-forgotten valuables in some of the craziest places and sometimes I swear, _I swear_ , she's leading me waist high to my own grave.” Nadine said, sitting back until she could feel the cushion of the booth behind her. “But that's who she is, isn't it? A treasure hunter. Me? I'm just along for the ride. I've already got something priceless, Tas, and she's sitting right next to me. All I do is make sure she stays alive when she's hunting hers.”

Tasneem had been taking aback by this, but before she could gather her words, she glanced at Chloe and her surprise gave way to treacherous amusement. 

“Oh,” Tasneem said. “I guess you hadn't let her in on that yet.” 

Nadine closed her eyes and cursed and then finally dared to look at her partner. Chloe was stunned, her face red and flushed. She looked away and pushed hair behind an ear and was unnervingly quiet and still. They had never discussed it, what they were to each other, and Nadine was not about to do so here with Tasneem as witness. It was a relief when Chloe laughed.

“Jesus, china.” Chloe took in a breath. She took a sip of her drink. “I almost took you seriously.” 

Tasneem frowned. “I did take her seriously.” 

Nadine scoffed and placed her chin in her hand. It was better this way she knew. It was an uncomfortable conversation she didn't really want to have after all, but she was surprised at how much it hurt to acknowledge something was there only to have it swept under the carpet again. She was in the middle of processing that feeling when she felt Chloe reach over and take her hand covertly beneath the table where Tasneem couldn't see. Chloe gave her hand a squeeze as she carried on the conversation. The touch was small but warm and comforting.

Tasneem was saying something, but Nadine wasn't listening. She was too busy looking about the bar, wary that no one else could see how Chloe slipped her fingers between hers and interlocked them. When they were alone again, Nadine thanked her, not sure exactly what she was thanking her for. She only felt the sentiment needed to be expressed. Chloe gave her the smile that made her heart beat faster. 

“My pleasure, treasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a big fan of personalized terms of endearments. "Treasure" is borrowed from my own life, but it fit a pair of treasure hunters too well to not use. I hear it in Claudia Black's voice when I use it now.


	2. The Coin pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Memento, pt 1

**October 2018**

Chloe knew Nadine was upset when she walked into the sports bar an hour and a half late. From the door, she saw her nursing a warm beer at a table and stopped, immediately looking around for something, anything, that would help smooth the situation. Behind the hostess stand, she saw the basket of metal coins, painted shiny gold and stamped with the logo of the bar. They were promotional items, given to customers for any situation that let them cash in the coin for a free drink at a later date. Chloe snatched one up when no one was looking, took in a breath, and started toward Nadine. Here's hoping she was in a good mood. 

“Heeey, china,” she said, tentatively peering at her, hands clasped behind her back. 

Nadine spied her from the corner of her eye and calmly took brought the mug to her lips. This was good, right? At least she wasn't scowling. Chloe felt confident enough to take the empty seat across from the table. 

“Being late is a thing with you, isn't it?” Nadine asked, looking back over the rim of the mug at her. 

“Not really, no,” Chloe said, and then quickly added, “Sometimes, maybe. Sorry, love. You mad?” 

“More at myself for not leaving an hour ago.” 

She watched Nadine lower her drink back to the table, trying to gauge her mood. She wasn't angry, which was good, but she seemed quiet and reluctant to talk. Chloe set the coin on the table and then with two fingers slid it over to her until it was just right. 

“What the hell is this?” Nadine picked up the coin and gave her a skeptical look.

“An apology from me,” Chloe said. “Or a request from you. Whichever one gets me forgiveness.” 

Nadine turned the coin in her hand and said, “What am I supposed to do with it?” 

“I figured I owe you, so I might as well acknowledge it.” Chloe leaned across the table and touched a finger to the coin in Nadine's hand. “That, love, is a bona fide, no questions asked, guaranteed insurance of a solid I Owe You One. Cash it in to your local Chloe when you need a favor.” 

“Any favor?” Nadine watched her carefully. 

“Well, within reason, but yeah.” 

“Copy that,” 

Nadine finally cracked a smile and swiftly pocketing the coin. Chloe was surprised the gimmick worked and she secretly high-fived herself, not knowing what exactly she had started. She was just glad Nadine was in better spirits. After all, there is only one official first date with someone and she wanted to remember this one fondly.

That was how it started with them and that ridiculous coin. At first, Chloe used to wonder what kind of favor Nadine would have. In the beginning, she assumed it would be used for something sexual, because what else would it be? Then the months turned into a year, Chloe almost forgot about the coin and figured Nadine had too. She bet Nadine lost it, bet that she would never see that silly thing again. She was wrong. 

-

**October 2019**

The first adventure they gave up on was Syria. The country is a treasure trove of archaeological artifacts dating all the way back to Sumeria and Mesopotamia, before then even. At least, what ISIS had not yet destroyed. It took one scrape too many with them before they threw in the towel. It just wasn't safe enough. 

“That was the closest shave we've ever had, eh?” Chloe said as they walked through the terminal. Nadine nodded in agreement. 

They would normally spend at least a week together, before separating for good, but Nadine had business to attend to in Johannesburg and Chloe had promised Charlie she'd hear him out on a job he was thinking of taking. They came to the point where their paths diverged and she touched Chloe's shoulder and set her pack down. 

“There's something I want to talk with you about,” she said, fishing something out of her pocket.

“Right now?” Chloe asked, but she smirked, amused. “You're going to miss your flight.” 

“How about next time, we take the same flight home?” Nadine asked quietly. 

Chloe blinked. “To the same home?”

“Just think about it,” Nadine said and shrugged. Was she nervous? 

Nadine took her hand and placed something hard in her palm before closing her fingers around it. She patted her closed fist with a small smile, kissed her goodbye, and then turned to walk away.

Chloe turned her fist over and opened her fingers and saw the coin she'd given Nadine. She smirked. That sneaky devil, she thought, shaking her head with amusement, but her cheeks were alight with a blush. She looked up at Nadine's retreating form and called after her. 

“Nadine! Does this mean I get a favor from you now?!”

Over her shoulder, Nadine laughed and threw a playful hand up in defeat. “Sure. If you want. Make it something good.” 

Chloe smiled, clutching the coin, and felt completely and utterly wooed. 

They decided to split their time between their respective places. It was a complicated solution to a simple problem, but it afforded them the luxury of retaining their autonomy. That was important for Chloe. She had never seen herself staying in one place too long. She couldn't see herself like that. To her, this was perfect. 

-

**January 2020**

One cold rainy morning, they lay in bed arguing about whose turn it was to get out of bed and make the coffee. It was too cold and the bed was too warm and comfortable and neither of them wanted to budge. Finally, Chloe dared to reach out into the cold blindly searching her side table drawer. 

“What are you doing?” 

Quickly, she yanked her arm back under the safety of the comforter and casually handed her the coin. Nadine gaped. Chloe rolled back over for a few more minutes of light sleep while she knew coffee was being made. 

“You're seriously using this right now?” 

“Yep.”

“That's coin abuse.” 

“We can talk about it after you make us coffee.” 

Grudgingly, as per the rules of the coin, Nadine pushed herself from the bed and made a loud shiver as she threw on a sweatshirt. She grumbled as she rounded the bed, yanking the comforter off Chloe as she passed. 

“What the hell!” Chloe shot up and glared at her, snatching the comforter back. 

Nadine laughed all the way to the kitchen.

-

**January 2020 – December 2020**

This was how it was for them. They alternated places between jobs, slowly migrated personal effects from one to the other until both flats was a satisfying mix of both. All the while, they passed the coin back and forth. It became so frequent, they had to sit down and write up formal ground rules.

 **Rule 1:** _The coin is a physical representation of a single request. It cannot be used to express any other meaning other than a request of the person receiving it._

 **Rule 2:** _After the passing of the coin from one party to the next has occurred, a cool down period commences of at least thirty days before the coin can be used again._

 **Rule 3:** _The request presented with the coin cannot be refused. Every effort must be made to fulfill the request as quickly as possible until the requester is satisfied._

 **Rule 4:** _THE COIN IS NOT A DARE! A dare presented with the coin is automatically voided and the requester must relinquish the coin at once with no do overs. The coin cool down period is automatically reduced to two weeks._

-

**February 2021**

In their third year, Nadine started talking about buying land, setting up a little nest egg and letting it grow so she had something in old age. She talked about planting roots and building a firm foundation in one place and only one place. The more she talked about it, the more it made Chloe uncomfortable. A nest egg? Were they really at the age they had to worry about that? How do you choose just one place to stay the rest of your life? It was suffocating. It felt claustrophobic, a cage where all her free will would be locked and the key thrown away. 

One night, Nadine sat her down and said, “We need to talk.” 

Chloe knew this was it. Nadine would want a direct answer now. What were they? Should she be considering Chloe in her decisions for the future? Did they even have a future together? 

“Can't we continue like this a little big longer?” Chloe had asked, but her chest was heavy with dread.

“For how much longer?” Nadine had asked, and elbow bent and pointed toward the ceiling as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I need to know I'm not wasting my time with you.” 

Wasting time. That was how she put it. She looked at Nadine and her heart overflowed with overwhelming love and sadness. Fuck. She cursed. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“Nadine, I love you, but this nest egg, this talk about land and growing roots? I don't want that. I don't want any of that,” she said, knowing how each word took them one step closer to the inevitable. 

The way Nadine looked at her was a shadow on her heart that followed her everywhere. It was a look of hurt and realization that they were not made of a substance that lasts. 

“Then maybe we should stop this,” Nadine had said. “There's just no point.” 

It infuriated Chloe, Nadine's premature acceptance of their end. The fact that she would not fight for them was an injury that would take years to heal. But she was right. She hated that she was right. She hated that love just wasn't enough. They sat side by side and cried together. 

Within two weeks, Nadine had moved out. In the months that followed, Chloe would discover items of their shared life that Nadine had taken with her in “the divorce." Mundane, every day things. The laundry basket, the good towels, the instant pot, the one framed photo of them that had been their favorite, and the coin. 

After four weeks, Chloe did her first adventure solo for the first time. Then she did another and another, every time she hated that it never got easier like it was supposed to. It wasn't fun anymore. She hated that Nadine took that with her as well and left only the void of her presence in its stead.

 

Continued...


	3. The Coin pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Memento, pt 2

**June 2022**

Their first meeting after almost two years of separation was at Cassie's fourth birthday. The Fishers, as Chloe called them at Nate's dismay, were back stateside for a short while and with Sully's cancer scare still fresh, it felt like a good time to get everyone back together. Nadine sat on one side of the room chatting with Sam. She caught Chloe's eye and she gave her a brilliant smile and a wave, then promptly pushed herself up from the chair to approach her. 

“Hey.” Chloe smiled. “How's that nest egg of yours going?”

Nadine gave it a quick thought and settled on, “It's nesting.” 

It made Chloe smile. Chloe had wondered how this meeting would go, but Nadine was happy to see her and that joy was infectious. They slipped into old familiarities, reviving inside jokes and recounting their exploits together to the rest of the group while Cassie ran about excited to meet new people. When it was her turn, Nadine paused the story and came to one knee, smiling as Cassie proudly said her first and last name. 

“Wow, Cassie! That was so good!” Nadine had said, impressed. “And how old are you?” 

“This many!” Cassie held up her fingers. 

“That many already? That's so big.” 

Chloe had known Nadine was good with kids, had seen her interact with a few, but for some reason, it was this time, watching her play with Cassie that made something in Chloe's heart ache. That night Nadine was clearly Cassie's favorite and she clung to her every chance she could, even climbing into her lap on the sofa and dozing off. Nadine caught her watching them while Cassie slept on her lap. Silently, she reached over and took Chloe's hand. She held it only long enough to make it clear that it was more than just friendly, but just tentatively short of something more. 

Nadine caught her in the hallway headed toward the bathroom and this time the smile she gave her was weary and frayed at the edges, like she'd been using the same empty one the entire time they'd been apart. 

“You look good. God, you look good,” she'd said. “You been okay?”

“Oh, you know me, another treasure, another fat check in my pocket.” She smiled. “You?” 

Nadine was always the honest one of the two of them, always the brave one. She reached over and touched Chloe's cheek softly. 

“I miss you.” 

She swallowed air. 

“Me too.” 

They left the reunion together and retired to Nadine's hotel room and had the most strenuous and emotionally exhausting conversation. Chloe had never been one to suffer through so much talk about thoughts and feelings and there were times she wondered why she was suffering this one, especially when Nadine called her selfish and self-centered.

“I'm selfish?” Chloe had fired back. “You're the one who gave up on us. On me. You're the one who threw away everything we had together because I needed more time.”

“We were running out of time, Chloe,” Nadine told her. Her voice was so quiet compared to how it had been just moments before. “I was running out of time. I needed to know if you were making a place for me in your future.” 

Chloe frowned. She'd thought this had been evident, understood between them. Hell, Chloe had never spent that long in a single relationship before. She felt like the fact that she even wanted to had been evidence enough of Nadine's place in her life.

“Of course, I had a place for you,” she said. “I was in yours too, wasn't I? Wasn't that why you even wanted that nest egg? For our future?”

Nadine looked exasperated and nearly shouted. “Yes. _Our_ future, Chloe. You looked me in the eye and said you didn't want it. How was I supposed to take that?” 

“I don't know,” Chloe said, drained and numb, “but giving up completely wasn't it.” 

Nadine sighed, frustrated, and let herself fall backward onto the bed, covering her eyes with the crook of her elbow. Her lips formed a grim line. 

“You made it sound so absolute. That there was no room for compromise. I can't accommodate you if you won't accommodate me.” 

Chloe thought a moment and then quietly said, “I guess I didn't know how then.”

Maybe that was what happened. Maybe it was that they both expected the other to follow them on the path they chose indefinitely and never stopped to think they would have to forge a new one where every step was painstakingly discussed and agreed upon, until they both knew where they were headed.  
She stood from the chair she'd been sitting and lay down beside Nadine. 

“Jesus, ten years ago, if you told me if I would be in a room having a discussion like this with a person like you, I would have called you crazy,” she said, trying to lighten the stifling mood. “Who the hell are we right now? For fucks sake, you were a mercenary.”

Nadine let out a small laugh. “And you were, what, Indiana Jones?”

“With a dash of James Bond, I like to think, with double the sex appeal,” Chloe said closing her eyes, fighting fatigue. “Guess that makes you my Bond girl.” 

Nadine placed a firm hand on her shoulder and gave her a shove before turning away and muttering beneath her breath, “Shut up.” 

-

**March 2023**

It took two months of talking as friends and one tentative adventure together before the flirting started up. Not long after, they both agreed to resume their treasure hunting partnership. Chloe was cautious and hyper aware of every milestone. She felt like a teenager, over analyzing touches and looks, endlessly debating with herself what Nadine meant by this or that, feeling her heart jump and her face burn whenever she happened to see more skin than usual. It was both entertaining and aggravating at the same time. Even when she was a teenager, she'd never been like this, so these feelings were new and exciting in one way and completely unwanted in another. 

The first time Nadine kissed her, she lost feeling in her legs. The first time she kissed Nadine, all her nerve endings were on fire. Both times, she could have sworn she was dying. 

Then, a mere day before the Ides of March, in a low lit hotel bar medicating scrapes and bruises with mixed cocktails, Nadine reached into the pocket of her pants and pulled out the godforsaken coin. Nadine had kept it this whole time. The sight of it made Chloe want to laugh or cry or scoff. Such a small useless little thing, but oh, what it knew of them, what memories it contained. This little coin made her heart pound. 

Chloe watched as she quietly placed the coin on the table before her. She knew the request before Nadine even voiced it. 

_Can we try again?_

-  
 **2024**

_So, how do you feel about marriage? To me?_

“You know this means you're stuck with me, right? You ready for that?”

“I can deal with that Ms. Ross.” 

“You'd better, Mrs. Ross.”

-

**2024 -2061**

The decades change them and the coin. The coin no longer means what it used to mean. It has become a supplement to their feelings in the moment it is passed. It has said I love you for them in the times their voices fail them. It embodies everything they feel and amplifies it; love, sympathy, joy, even regret. Over time, it passes hands less frequently until one day it finds a home on the mantle, paint completely gone and logo eroded to a smooth flat surface, a gray, metal, well-loved version of its previous self. They put it there so they both can see it and remember all the memories it shares with them and they'll sit side by side in the evenings and reminisce, arguing over the small details.

_Remember when Cassie got married and Nate cried the Nile River?_

_He's always been like that. He cried when I threw him out a window._

_I'm pretty sure he'll fight you on that._

_He's welcome to try._

Inevitably, one of them will reach over and they'll hold hands into the night until it is time to migrate to the bed. 

_You better wake up with me tomorrow._

_Jesus, where's the trust?_

_I'm serious._

_Don't worry, treasure. I'll wake up if you wake up._

_Deal._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to start your own game of favors with your significant other?
> 
>  **Step 1** : Purchase a challenge coin with a design more significant to you as a pair. Challenge coins are usually earned (hence the name "challenge"), but there are plenty amateur minters who make affordable non-program/career specific coins.   
> Like this one: https://www.etsy.com/shop/DesertPatina?ref=l2-shopheader-name
> 
>  **Step 2** : Gift the coin. Sit back and watch the confusion and disbelief turn to giddiness if the receiver of coin tests the gift immediately. If they do, they've wasted their turn, and you get to officially start it, you wickedly clever person, you. 
> 
> **Advice:** Develop mutually safe ground rules. Because communication and trust are sexy. 
> 
> This has been your daily public service announcement. We will return shortly to the feature presentation.


	4. Happy Birthday, Buddha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Lights

Nadine kissed her first. They were in the Khentii mountain range in Mongolia, tracing a lead on the treasure of the Copper Scroll found on a coin unearthed from Genghis Khan's tomb and found themselves caught in a struggle between two political and religious factions. The night was cold and the fire crackled bright and hot. It had been a brutal couple days trying, and often failing, to stay one step ahead of both adversaries. In the last firefight, Nadine had jammed her shoulder, nearly dislocated it. The ache made her quiet. She said was going to bed first, leaned over, and casually kissed Chloe on the cheek. Chloe watched her settle in her sleeping bag and waited until she thought it was safe, but Nadine saw her touch her cheek softly and give a quiet smile. 

They didn't talk about it afterward. It just became another thing they did, soft pecks when they were both too tired to talk, too beaten for words. Little kisses that meant a multitude of things. _Good night. Good morning. Thank you. Oops, sorry._ There was even a time Nadine knew Chloe meant it as a playful peace offering. _Aw, don't be mad, love._

One night, Chloe had mentioned off-handedly that she was getting too old for this. It was more of a joke than anything, Nadine knew. When Chloe talked about the future, she didn't talk about finding someone or settling down, or where she wanted to spend her twilight years. Nadine could tell those things were far away for her in a distant future she'd already accepted may never come.

Nadine knew that anyone who wanted in Chloe's life had to fit comfortably in it as it already was, because Chloe wasn't interested in stopping or changing directions for anyone. There was too much to do for her, too much to see and experience, too much world left to explore. For the time being, their paths were aligned, but for how long? How long until Chloe went one way and she went another?

These were the thoughts that preoccupied her as they sat on one of the high ridges that over looked the Mongolian Steppe where the nomads were camping. Below them, they could see the smoke rising from the nomad dwellings. It seemed to be a special day. Usually at dusk, when all the chores were finished, they retire to their own dwellings and prepare to bunker down for the night, but today, they were still congregating outside. 

Chloe's boots scraped against the rock as she made her way around the fire and joined Nadine. The temperature was dropping fast and the fire was the only source of warmth. 

“Something's happened,” Nadine said, nodding toward the plains below them. 

Chloe observed for a moment and drew her parka tighter around her. The nomads were nearly small specks in the fading light, dark figures quickly disappearing in the oncoming night. 

“Buddha's birthday,” she said. “It's something like a holiday here.” 

“Ah.” 

Nadine's shoulder still ached and she probably needed to seek a professional opinion, but the pain wasn't sharp enough to distract her from her thoughts. She minimized it when Chloe asked about it, said it was just fine, nothing a good night's sleep in an actual bed couldn't fix. 

“This has been a rough one, hasn't it?” Chloe had asked, watching the fire crackle and spark. “Still don't regret hanging around me?”

Nadine gave her a look she hoped Chloe understood. Of course not. You crazy? What kind of question was that even? 

“No,” she said. “I'm here until you've got something or someone better.”

“I'm glad you're here, Nadine.” 

Chloe was quiet, gazing out, into the darkening plains, a contrast to the sky above them studded with a million stars, all shining brighter than Nadine had ever seen them shine. It was beautiful here, she had to admit, albeit freezing, but she was tired and her shoulder was unforgiving and stiff. She wasn't sure she could carry a conversation right now. She pushed herself up and walked around the fire, bent over, and kissed her cheek just as she had every night since the first time she had. _I'm glad to be here._

When she went to pull away, Chloe reached up and touched her face, turned to look at her. She gazed up at her, expectantly, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and her breath coming out in mists. Red touched the tip of her nose and cheeks. In the firelight, she was nothing short of prepossessing. Her skin almost glowed and the flickering light gave her eyes a sweeping depth that was a reminder of all the things about her Nadine didn't know. Every day, she shined more in Nadine's eyes.

Nadine knew it would only complicate things and she was already sorting through too many thoughts that contradicted the impulse of this moment. She kissed Chloe anyway, properly, stooping low to palm the cold skin of her cheek. _You're beautiful. I'm sorry, but I'm not really sorry._

Chloe took hold of the hand that touched her cheek and used it to draw Nadine down to her, found her lips again, and kissed her once more. Nadine will always remember the way this kiss felt, in the bitter cold, her face half frozen, suddenly scalded by the warm touch of Chloe's lips and the contact between their cheeks against each other. She was going to regret this. She knew she was going to regret this. This was messy, blurring the lines too much. She felt Chloe pull her closer and then stopped caring about potential regrets. Cold fingers ran up the nape of her neck into her hair and warm breath tickled her cheekbone. 

When Chloe broke away, Nadine was quiet and still, eyes closed, heart racing. This wasn't good, was it? This shouldn't have happened. She swallowed. She took in a breath and opened her eyes to find Chloe watching her with a soft smile. 

“Hey there, china,” she said.

“Hey.” 

Nadine looked away. In the dark of the steppe below, small lights started to glow one by one. The cluster of lights caught their attention and in the next moment, the lights began to lift and float toward them, carried by the cold wind that passed over the rock ridge. When they neared, Nadine saw they were lanterns, lit with small candles inside. On the dark ridge, sharing the pocket of warmth they'd created, they watched in wonder as the lanterns passed by overheard, bathing their little camp and the two of them in soft light. 

Chloe titled her head up, looking at each individual lantern as it passed, pushing a stubborn lock of hair from her eyes. There were plenty times Nadine looked at Chloe and thought she was beautiful, but this time, she wanted to remember, years from now, when she was old and tired, thinking about her life and the choices she made. Anyone who wanted in Chloe's life had to fit in without much trouble and for now Nadine fit. She wanted to remember how Chloe looked the first time she consciously thought to herself that she wanted to fit, was willing to bend and compromise to make sure she still fit no matter how much time passed. 

It was a new thought for Nadine, one she hadn't given much thought about before Chloe and these lights. She reached over and took her hand and they watched the last of the lanterns pass by and disappear over the ridge, taking their soft light with them.

“Not exactly the Northern Lights,” Chloe said looking at her, “but just as good, eh?” 

“Yeah, just as good.” Nadine nodded, then took a breath. “You know about my feelings for you, don't you?” 

Chloe smiled at her. She used her hand again to draw her near and Nadine forgot what she had been worried about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first real fictional attempt at genuine heartfelt and romantic. I _struggled._
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr with these tags:
> 
> #Meanwhile, Chloe has been thinking that she'd gotten Nadine into this mess  
> #and maybe Nadine was regretting ever partnering up with her  
> #she already knew she just might die on one of these trips  
> #but she had never thought about someone else dying  
> #because of her  
> #and that made her a little quiet   
> #and worried  
> #about Nadine still wanting to do this with her  
> #she just wants to keep Nadine safe  
> #or maybe just keep her


	5. Paper Menagerie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Animals

Not long after they had handed the tusk over to the Ministry of Culture, interest in her father's research exploded. Nadine and Chloe had passed on the official unveiling and the gala where their presence along with Sam's had been requested as special guests. The Ministry offered to have a small pre-gala unveiling reserved only for the press. Chloe reluctantly agreed, which meant Nadine would be right by her side.

It was at this unveiling, in a small room with both Indian and foreign reporters, that Chloe mentioned her father and his research, that they owed it all to his life's work she'd inherited and studied. After that, it went downhill. Soon, she was receiving messages passed through contacts and affiliates who had been tracked down by reporters. After six months, she began receiving mail. She swore the acquaintance who told these people how to find her had better hope she never found them out. This went on for another few months. Every now and again, they would return after a treasure hunting adventure to find the mailbox stuffed with more letters.

Nadine remembered when Chloe got the letter that changed her mind, nearly a year after this had all started. It came in a small nondescript envelope that was hand written. Chloe ripped the envelope open and removed the letter, flicking it open, and read the first line. Then with a groan, she dropped it in the bin with her recycling. 

“Another one?” Nadine asked from her seat on the sofa. 

“Some uni wants a speaker at this super important seminar or whatever for their history and religious studies majors,” Chloe said, rounding the kitchen island and opening the refrigerator. “Sounds boring.” 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Why not go to one of these?” Nadine asked. “You did say you wished more people knew about him and his research.” 

Nadine could only see her profile as she stared into the open fridge, furrowing her eyebrows in thought. Her dad was a touchy subject. Chloe barely liked talking about him privately and this was asking her to talk about him to a room full of strangers. The fridge chimed its warning and she closed the door.

“This is all the way in then States,” she said, quietly. “At the end of August.” 

“Well, you've got three months to think about it then,” Nadine said and returned to the magazine she'd been reading. “Right?”

Chloe frowned. “Right.”

-

One warm summer night two months later, sitting on a grassy knoll in Malaysia watching fireflies, Chloe leaned back on her arms and asked if Nadine would really be all right if she went to this seminar. 

Nadine had laughed and said, “He's your dad. What do I have to do with it?” 

“Fair enough.” Chloe nodded, tilting her head back in thought, a drop of sweat running from her temple, over her jawline, and down the length of her neck. “It's not like I need permission or anything.” 

“Right,” Nadine said, finding the thought amusing in its absurdity. “Anyway, since when did you ask permission for anything?”

Finally, she tilted her head and looked at Nadine. She gave a lazy smile and then tapped her lips. Nadine's face flushed. Chloe looked too pleased with herself seeing Nadine blush. She tapped her lips again. 

“Just a little one, love,” she said, “or do I need permission for that?” 

Nadine's face burned crimson. It still felt a little foreign to her, the frequent displays of affection being in a relationship with Chloe required. Chloe liked small things, innocent things, little kisses for the sake of kissing, quick pecks on the cheek just because she wanted to. Nadine was not particularly affectionate in public, but it was always hard to say no to her little requests like this one.

She covered the distance between them and kissed her.

-

It was late when Nadine returned home from seeing Chloe off at the airport. She entered her flat and threw her keys in a ceramic bowl on a table near the door. It was late and she was beat, still hadn't completely recovered from the jet lag from their last trip. She kicked off her shoes and bent to slide them in the free slot of the shoe rack. The whole world and the flat could be falling apart around her, but her shoes had to be side-by-side and neatly put away and everything would be all right. That was probably why Chloe chose that spot.

In the empty cubby for her shoes, Nadine found the first one, a small original bat made of black paper, its wings spread out and its ears two sharp points on its angular head. On the wings, in clear white letters, Chloe had written “rodents with wing.” On the other side was a single letter A in bold. Nadine smiled. Cheeky, she thought. She'd have to ask Chloe what that was about once she landed. 

She carried the bat through the living room and let it drop on the coffee table, then made her way to the bedroom, opening a drawer to retrieve a pair of comfier clothing. That's where she found the second one, a flamingo made of white paper this time wearing a pair of small shades, a blue bow tie, and “MIN” written on its wing and in smaller letters below it was written “He forgot to eat pink.” It had been assigned a bold letter Y.

Nadine considered it for a minute before picking it up. Did Chloe hide these animals randomly over her flat as a game? What's next? Is she going to lift the toilet seat and find one dangling there? She pulled her phone from her pocket and shot off a quick text, knowing Chloe wouldn't read it for almost nine hours. 

_What's with the paper animals?_

To her surprise, her phone vibrated with a response. 

_You found all of them already?_

Nadine furrowed her eyebrows and typed. 

_Just how many did you hide? And aren't you flying right now?_

_Taxing right now. About to take off. There are sixteen. Let me know when you've got all of them. Gotta go. Love to you and your animals, love._

Nadine smiled to herself. It was nice, she had to admit, hearing someone say that to her. She typed it back and pocketed the phone. Chloe's flight wouldn't land for another sixteen hours. Until then, she didn't have much use for it. Her stomach rumbled. They'd eaten an early dinner together before they parted at security, but that had been nearly six hours ago and there was leftover shrimp Alfredo calling her name. 

There were two flamingos chilling in the fridge against the jar of Vegemite, something Nadine would never have kept willingly if it weren't for Chloe. They were labeled “FLA” and “GO.” Oh. Together the three of them spelled flamingo, Nadine thought. Chloe probably thought she was clever with that one. She grabbed the birds and flipped them over. They were both marked with a N.Nadine sipped a cider while she waited for the food to warm and glanced about the dark, quiet place. 

It was funny how empty the flat felt, like there was too much space for her to fill herself. It hadn't been that long ago that she'd felt comfortable with the stillness of the place. That was before Chloe, though. When Chloe was here, it felt like every room struggled to contain her. She always knew where Chloe was by the noise she made. Even her bare feet made small thuds against the hard wood flooring. There was none of that now, just an echoing silence.

The microwave beeped and she grabbed the food and took it and the flamingos to the living room and sat on the couch. Nadine placed the flamingos together on the table with the bat. On the loveseat that lined the other side of the coffee table, Chloe had left a sweater draped on the top. That was the spot she sat where she'd pulled her feet up and studied a map of their next job. 

“Do you do this for every job?” Nadine had asked. “Remember the route?”

“More or less,” Chloe said, holding out the map further and straightening the sagging middle. “You don't get to where I am by winging it blindly.” 

“Right. Best driver in the business,” Nadine gave an exaggerated nod of her head. “Winging it blindly. That's funny coming from you.”

Chloe shot her a look over the map. “I got you out of there alive, didn't I?” 

“I'm the one who got you out.”

Now, Chloe cleared her throat and returned to the map.

“Sure, china.” 

It took only a moment before Nadine stood from the couch and made her way to the kitchen. She opened the freezer, retrieved an ice cube, and then returned, coming to stand behind the couch. 

“Anyone ever tell you you're hot?” Nadine asked her. 

Without missing a beat, Chloe replied, “All the time.” 

“I think you need to cool down.”

Nadine lifted the collar of her shirt and dropped the ice cube inside. She will never forget the way Chloe gasped at the sudden cold and jumped from her seat, coming to her feet to shake out her clothing until the ice cube dropped on the floor. She gaped at her. Nadine laughed all the way down the hallway with Chloe on her heels, holding the ice cube shouting after her.

-

She found the monkey propped against the toothbrush holder. In Chloe's handwriting, she saw the words “this one eats bananas dammit” with the letter R on the other side. She chuckled, reaching for her toothbrush. The extra one caught her interest. Her toothbrush had never had a partner before, but she liked the look of the two of them side by side. It wasn't too long ago that Nadine didn't know what that sight was like and didn't care if she never saw it. Chloe was changing her life. The monkey joined the rest of the animals on the table.

When she pulled back the covers of her bed, she saw the elephant, lying flat on the sheet. The note written on it read, “This is an African one.” Cute, she thought, but she still didn't understand the point of them. The elephant was marked with an E. She set the elephant on the table next to her and thought of India and an elephant ride, remembered how angry she had been just moments before they pushed the column off and were swept away by her. 

In the darkness of her room, Nadine remembered watching Chloe from behind as they sat on the back of that elephant, the sights and the sounds around them rubbing away the sharp edges of her anger. She'd forgiven Chloe quickly, a little too quickly, maybe. It was hard to stay mad at her, especially when she could tell Chloe was trying so hard to talk. 

She reached over and picked up her phone and shot off a message.

_Found the elephant. Makes me think about us in the beginning. Don't think I ever told you that was the first time I realized I liked you. In the middle of fuming at you, none the less_

She noted the time. Chloe still had fourteen more hours before she landed. Nadine set the phone down and turned over to sleep. Only a minute passed before she rolled back over, grabbed the phone, and sent one more message.

_Sorry about the punch, btw._

-

Chloe hid them everywhere. Nadine found a tiger in a pot in the cupboard when she was reaching for a pan to cook breakfast. She found three more flamingos that spelled “convention” behind the flour, sugar, and coffee canisters on the counter. She laughed when she placed them with the others.

_Flamingo convention. Cute. Bet you're proud of that one._

There was a giraffe and a kangaroo squished between the cushions of the couches. It took her an hour, but she finally sat on the sofa with all sixteen animals sitting on the table in front of her.

_Found all of them. Mind telling me what's going on?_

To her surprise, Chloe responded. 

_Just landed. Waiting to unboard. I'll call once I'm off the plane. And isn't it obvious? I made you a menagerie._

An eyebrow lifted on Nadine's forehead.

_I see. It's very cute. Thank you. Why again?_


	6. Partners pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theme "Partners" pt 1

Chloe lifted a low hanging vine and felt Nadine lift it higher for her. She offered a smile over her shoulder before ducking beneath it. Cassie's birthday was a few months ago and they had been tentative friends since then. She was ever conscious that despite the way their relationship ended and their tentative few months as friends, Nadine still did these small things that show she cared. And it was messing with Chloe. As it turns out, hiking through as jungle with someone off limits was difficult.

It wasn't so much that being in Nadine's presence was difficult. It was the small moments, like ducking beneath a vine she held or the hand on the small of her back, encouraging her to go first. It was the accidental glances when Nadine stretched or wiped sweat from her neck. Even the laughs or the soft smiles. They were all reminders of how they once were and they happened in the moments Chloe was least prepared. How did one guard against something like that?

They'd left the Jeep Wrangler at the bottom of the steep incline and trekked on foot toward the coordinates of the ruins of the Cambodian temple. They had struck out and found nothing of use though. Now, they were on their way back to the Jeep empty handed and an uncomfortable silence had fallen on them.

“So, you never did tell me what you've been up to these days,” Chloe started, sidestepping a large pile of rotting debris. “I haven't heard your name pop up anywhere.” 

“Consulting,” Nadine said. “Not unlike what I did after I lost Shoreline, but properly legitimate this time.” 

Chloe tossed a glance over her shoulder at her and said, with a laugh, “You turning lawful on me, Ross?”

Nadine came up beside her and followed pace. “Not especially. Government contracts pay well, supply better, and I make it clear I'm unaffiliated. It's nice to have a few contacts here and there.” 

“That's sly,” Chloe said with a whistle and smile and stopped when she came to the edge of the steep incline, looking down at the 4x4 still parked below. “I gotta admit.That could really come in handy in the future.”

“I thought so too.” Nadine nodded as she came up beside her and then without hesitation, carefully descended a few steps. “Use my name and maybe we'll make use of those contacts together.” 

She found a sure footing and turned to look back up at her, extending a waiting hand. Chloe looked at the hand, then at Nadine, and then back at her hand. Quietly, she took it, and Nadine let her brace herself against it as she found the footing to descend. Chloe knew she didn't need the help, assumed Nadine knew as well, but it was still nice.

“Careful,” Nadine said, watching as she descended. “Don't let go until you have a solid foothold.” 

“Mmhmm.” 

They descended like that, carefully, one foot at a time, knocking loose debris free. At times, Chloe would have found her balance quicker if her hand was free, but she didn't let go, and neither did Nadine. 

They had started this expedition with the understanding that if it went well, there was a possibility of starting up their business relationship again. Cambodia was just a trial run. At the last bit, Nadine finally pulled away and took the rest of the slope quickly before landing on solid ground just in front of their vehicle. 

“Hey, Nadine, about your contacts,” Chloe called, sliding down the rest of the way. “Does that mean we're partners again? Nadine!”

She could hear Nadine laugh as she rounded the 4x4, giving their gear and supplies a quick visual inventory, before adding the pack she carried. A lone patch of sunlight able to penetrate the canopy above landed on her forearm and Chloe could see the muscle flex. This is what you let walk away, Chloe thought to herself. Idiot.

“Still thinking about it,” Nadine said, hopping in the passenger side. “We'll talk about it once we're back in civilization.”

“You're lucky I don't have a coin to toss at you right now.” 

“Even if the coin was still in play between us, it's still my turn, so you wouldn't be tossing me anything anyway.” 

Chloe climbed in the driver's side and rewarded her with a smack to her shoulder. Nadine could only laugh.

-

They didn't have that talk when they were back in the city, showered, and changed. When they went out for drinks to celebrate another job survived, she was just glad they were beginning to feel something akin to normal and didn't want to push it. They existed in this strange bubble between intimate familiarity and distant unease and it wasn't an easy space to navigate. 

When Nadine went to get them another round at the bar, Chloe watched her speak with the bartended, lift two fingers and then casually lean against the counter. Her plain t-shirt was tucked in her cargo pants and Chloe always liked how it showed that curve of her waist, not dainty but still distinctly feminine. It was a shame she couldn't see more of her muscle tone beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

A short woman approached her at the bar and Chloe watched with interest as she stepped close. Nadine didn't back away, but she folded her arms loosely over her chest. She didn't move when the woman brushed her fingers across the muscles of her forearm, but she looked at the hand until the woman pulled it away. The bartended brought out the two bottles she ordered and Nadine grabbed them, gave the woman a smile Chloe didn't think she deserved, and extricated herself before making her way back to their table. 

“You're popular,” Chloe said, giving her an appreciative smile as took the beer offered her. 

Nadine looked confused and then remembered the woman. “Oh, that? Nothing I couldn't handle.” 

“And did you? Handle it?” Chloe asked with grin. “Did you tell her your room number and a time to show up?” 

At this, Nadine took her seat and took a moment to stare at her with an expression Chloe couldn't read. Nadine took a drink from her beer and said, “She's not my type.” 

Chloe looked away, finding the label on the bottle more interesting than it should have been. She picked at a corner and started to peel. 

“I'd be okay, you know,” she said, placing her elbow on the table top and resting her chin in her hand, “If you wanted to pick up someone more your type, I mean. We've been traveling for three weeks. Everyone has needs.”

Nadine considered for a moment and then said, “If you need to find a pretty face to take to you room tonight, you should just do it. You don't have to wait for me. We aren't together anymore.”

There was a mix of feelings in Chloe at hearing that. Part of her was relieved, because she needed it, badly, and another part of her was almost disappointed. Would she really not care? She peeled the rest of the label off and crushed it in her hand. Somehow, it didn't seem right to start today.

“Maybe next time.”

That's how it started. After each job, they had a celebratory drink in whatever city they landed in. Those nights always started well, the two of them toasting to another bullet dodged, another notch on their belts. Then, inevitably, Chloe's eye would wander. 

“Speaking of notches,” she would say and pat Nadine's shoulder as a goodnight. 

Nadine would always nod but would never say a word. One night, Nadine caught her glancing across the room and stood from the table. 

“Ah, that's my cue,” she said, rounding the table. This time she patted Chloe's shoulder. “See you tomorrow at check out, partner.” 

The comment demanded Chloe's attention sharply, but Nadine already had her back to her and was heading toward the exit. It was the first time Nadine had called her that in a long time. It was something Chloe had wanted since they first started talking again. This night, however, watching Nadine disappear in the crowd, the word “partner” never felt so hollow. 

-

Chloe heard the gunfire and looked around as a flock of birds scattered in the cold Patagonian sky above her. They'd split up for the time being, Nadine checking up the river while Chloe acquired a vehicle that wouldn't be missed. The light was fading fast, but there was still enough left for her to catch sight of Nadine in the river being carried away down stream. 

“Shit,” she cursed and put the 4x4 in gear, turning the wheel hard to turn the vehicle around on the hardening mud bank. 

The river wasn't deep but the current was still strong enough that she could see Nadine struggle to get a footing below her. It was too cold out. Hypothermia was a real danger out here. She had to get Nadine out of the water soon.

“Shit shit shit.” 

A volley of gunfire echoed around them, but Chloe couldn't care about that. She sped down the river bank, finally catching up to her and shouted. Nadine lifted a hand as best as she could out of the current and made large motions forward. Coming up quick was a low make shift bridge of cheap plywood and dead trees that was clearly made so the rivals could get their vehicles across. Chloe stepped on the accelerator, racing against the current to get to the bridge before Nadine passed beneath it. 

When she was close enough, she slammed on the break, and threw it in park, hopping out as the Jeep jolted to a stop and skidded across the mud. She couldn't think about it right now. Nadine was coming too fast for that. Chloe watched her figure in the water as she climbed on to the bridge, trying to gauge about where the current would take her. At the last moment, she dropped to her stomach and threw her hand out, catching hold Nadine by the wrist. 

Chloe braced herself against the wood and her shoulder screamed as she let Nadine use her as an anchor to pull herself up until she could grip the wood herself. Chloe helped haul her out of the freezing water. 

“So much for sneaking around, I guess,” she said, helping Nadine to her feet and helping her to the 4x4 that was still running. 

“Not ...that way ...anyway,” Nadine said between chattering teeth. 

“Get out of those wet clothes,” Chloe said, unzipping her jacket and throwing it around her shoulders and helped her in the seat and slammed the door behind her. 

She jumped the hood, yanked the driver's side door open, and climbed in. Then she cranked up the heat, threw the vehicle in drive, and sped them away from the river. Beside her, Nadine shuddered and began shedding her layers. 

“Don't waste ...the gas,” she said, pulling her arm from her parka and pulling it from behind her. 

“It won't actually waste any gas.” Chloe started to explain, but Nadine reached over and placed her fingers on her arm to draw her attention. 

“Don't.” 

Chloe set her lips in a grim line and glanced at the fuel gauge. It hovered dangerous low and she frowned. Didn't these guys believe in starting a trip with a full tank? 

“Let me get us to a safe place and a fire going first,” Chloe said, setting her lips in a grim line and glanced at the fuel gauge hovering dangerous low. They didn't even know if they had enough to make it back.

She leaned forward so Nadine could slide the jacket from behind her. When they were a safe enough distance away, Chloe built a hasty fire nest to the jeep to block the wind. Then helped Nadine out of the jeep. She wrung the excess water from her clothes and lay them by the fire to dry and then settled down next to her. The terrible shudder was gone, but she still shivered nearly naked beneath Chloe's jacket, her bare legs cross-legged beneath her. 

“Doing all right?” 

“Yeah.” Nadine gave a nod. “Thanks.” 

“What are partners for?” Chloe asked with a smile that would have left Nadine humorously unimpressed on a better day. 

The fire crackled and burned and Chloe threw more sticks and logs in it. The adrenaline from earlier finally worked its way through their systems and left them both quiet and drained. She felt Nadine tremble and scooted closer, placing an arm around her shoulders and drawing her near. 

“I never did ask,” Nadine said, “but how happy were the Drake brothers when we broke up?” 

Chloe hummed softly in thought and said, “I don't know. Never told them. They seemed to know at Cassie's birthday so, someone did.”

“Don't look at me.” Nadine scoffed. “I never would have given them the pleasure.” 

Chloe laughed and was relieved when she felt Nadine's shoulder move with her own chuckle. Good. She was feeling better. Her horrible trembles from before have lightened to an occasional shiver. Maybe she was in the clear now. 

“Have you ever wanted kids?” Chloe asked. “Cassie loved you.” 

Nadine shrugged and shifted her weight so she could rub some warmth in her thighs. Chloe had given her socks to wear, but her legs were still bare, waiting for her pants to dry. Chloe reached over and started working the thigh closest to her. 

“Once upon a time, maybe,” Nadine said after a small thank you. “Doesn't seem to be in the cards for me, though.”

“Huh. Shame.” 

Nadine just let out a small hum and nodded. She let herself sink further against Chloe. 

“You were always warm.” Her head lowered until it nuzzled her shoulder. “It was nice snuggling up to you on cold nights.” 

It took Chloe off guard and brought her back to memories of chilled nights and warm blankets, of cold feet wars and blanket thefts. It made her smile to herself despite the small tug at her heart. Then she lifted her chin and watched her breath mist. 

“You asking to snuggle in my sleeping bag tonight, Ross?” Chloe grinned when Nadine looked away at the tease. “I wouldn't mind. Seeing as it's kind of life or death, right?” 

Nadine was quiet a moment and then she quietly said, “I wouldn't mind either.” 

If there was one thing Chloe had never gotten used to in their time together, it was the jump scares on her heart at moments like this. She once thought herself immune to frivolous reactions, especially because she enjoyed causing them instead. Until now, she had almost forgotten how good a contender Nadine was for her heart.

“Well,” she said, drawing out the word. “Who am I to deny you such a request?”

Nadine laughed beneath her breath. 

It was a snug fit in a sleeping bag designed for one person, but Chloe didn't mind. She wasn't concerned so much with sleeping as she was with making sure Nadine stayed warm all night. They had settled on their sides and Chloe pressed tight against Nadine's back, pulling her close. Nadine shivered only once before the settling.

Chloe's heart didn't pound or quicken like the books always say it will. It felt like every part of her relaxed after holding tight for so long, like letting out a stale breath held too long in the lungs. It was the first time she felt this warm and secure since Nadine moved out. She felt safe. How did she let this go? 

“Hey, Nadine?” Chloe asked, her breath getting trapped between her chin and the nape of Nadine's neck. 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you think we did the right thing? Ending it?” 

Nadine shifted, but Chloe felt her take hold of her wrist and draw it closer around her. 

“I don't know, Chloe. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't,” she said. “Mostly, I just feel regret. It wasn't because of a lack of love, so why did we give up before even trying? I wonder about that sometimes.” 

Chloe reflected on the words. There was a soft tug on her heart and Nadine's presence maintained a pull on her emotions. She tipped her head until her forehead rested against the back of Nadine's shoulder. 

“Nadine?”

“Hm?”

“I'm sorry.” 

“Me too.”

continued...


	7. Partners pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> partners pt 2

After just their second round, Chloe caught sight of an attractive woman across the room and decided she would do nicely. After all, the only way to get over someone was to get under someone else, she always thought, and after that fiasco in Patagonia and the bout with hypothermia, Chloe needed something from someone. It was almost all she could think about. A night away from Nadine and simply letting go. Chloe half listened to the conversation and watched the woman across the way, waiting for her to look their way. That was when she felt Nadine's hand on her arm.

“Don't go,” Nadine said. 

A small smile teased the corners of Chloe lips and she said, “I'm not going anywhere yet. I still haven't made eye contact.”

Nadine breathed. “No, I mean, stay with me tonight.” 

The words caught Chloe between emotions. She didn't want to assume that meant what she thought it did. She wasn't sure if she could withstand the disappointment if she were wrong. She turned to look at Nadine. It wasn't what she thought it was. It wasn't. Chloe forced a smile. 

“No offense, china, you're fun and a helluva drinking buddy,” she said, “but it's been a few weeks for me and I need a different kind of fun tonight.” 

She thought she did a good job of remaining nonchalant, keeping it light and casual, but Chloe saw the way Nadine's expression turned pensive, an unsettling shadow touching her eyes at the thoughts, whatever they were. She watched her lift the bottle of beer to her lips and take a drink. This was the first time she saw Nadine so troubled since they'd renewed their partnership. It was just selfish of her to want her to be bothered over her. 

Chloe made herself look across the room at the woman she saw earlier and noticed that she was watching her. She flashed her best smile and saw the woman return it before flicking her eyes briefly away. Then the woman looked back at her and Chloe knew she was in.

“Well, I'm out,” she said, standing. “I'll see you at check out tomorrow.” 

Nadine caught her wrist again and the fragile look she gave her made Chloe's chest hurt. When she spoke, it was clear in the way the words faltered without power that she had to force them out, but didn't have the confidence to feel she deserved to say them.

“I want you,” she said, softly, and it made Chloe freeze. “I miss you, Chloe.” 

Stay with her. Chloe thought. That's how she said that. Unlike that freezing night in her sleeping bag, now Chloe felt her heart beat, half excited and half terrified. She wanted nothing more than to stay with Nadine tonight, and the next night, and every night afterward, but they had just started again. She'd just gotten Nadine back. She wasn't ready to chance losing her again just because she couldn't keep it in her pants. 

“I don't know if that's a good idea,” she said and her voice trailed as she through her words through.

Nadine nodded, looked as if she were irritated, probably more with herself than anything. She could see her shoving down the vulnerability she saw in her earlier until she was the same familiar stern Nadine she always was. Knowing that was a facade right now made Chloe feel even worse. 

“Nadine,” she said when it was clear Nadine wasn't going to say anything. “You know it's not because I don't want to, right?” 

“Yeah, I know. It's not a good idea.” Nadine lifted a hand to stop her, as if she hadn't shown Chloe any of the hurt inside her just moments ago. “I know.” 

“No, I don't think you understand.” Chloe sat and started talking and Nadine interjected comments between her sentences. “Our track record with this isn't good-”

“That's an understatement.” 

“-and I've put too much effort into you-”

“Effort?”

“-to gamble it away for just one night.”

“Gamble, eh?” Nadine lowered her gaze, but gave a small dishonest smile.

“If one night is all I can have,” Chloe finished, “then I'd rather not have it all.”

Because how could she go back to this tentative existence where she was hyper aware of Nadine's touch and proximity? How could she be given the chance to remember when they had loved each other and then be expected to return to now where they don't? How could one night possibly convey all of the hurt? The love? It couldn't. She couldn't. One night just wasn't enough.

Nadine didn't say anything for a long moment, leaving Chloe to suffer in her chair in silence, frustrated that she still felt this strongly after almost two years. 

“It sounds like you've made up your mind about that,” Nadine said, intertwining her fingers around the bottle she still nursed. 

“I have.” 

“I don't get a say in this?” 

The remark hung in the air between them less like an accusation and more like a weary reaffirmation. The music vibrated through the table as the comment sank in. The low lights turned to a multicolor spectrum and there was commotion on the stage toward the far end as they were setting up for the karaoke night they saw advertised on flyers posted around the bar. Chloe tried to find her voice. 

“I'm trying to get over you,” she said, “and maintain a friendship with you. Don't make this harder for me.” 

The way Nadine looked at her was almost infuriating in how heartbreaking it was. Chloe could almost swear she was getting mixed signals here. There was nothing but love in the way Nadine reached over and took her hand carefully in hers, but only hurt seemed to touch her eyes. Chloe tried to pull her hand away. 

“You want more than one night, right?” Nadine asked quietly. 

Chloe couldn't answer, couldn't even nod. She didn't know if she wanted to hear the rest, because it sounded too hopeful, and hope was cruel and unkind. She stayed still, watching their hands on the tabletop. She saw Nadine shift in her seat and reach into her pocket with her free hand. Then Nadine placed their coin, worn and only speckled with gold now, on the table before her and sat back, drawing her hands with her. 

She said, “I do too.” 

Something in Chloe broke. She laughed at the sight of the ridiculous coin, but felt her eyes well with tears. Goddammit. It wasn't fair how sly she was sometimes, she thought and wiped at her eyes. That coin represented so much. It carried so many memories. Just the sight of it made Chloe's chest ache. 

“You had it this entire time,” she said, but her chest was heaving with everything she was trying to hold in. 

Everything felt too much. Her heart felt too much. Her throat closed and sealed any attempt at words. When she saw Nadine offer her a tender smile, she laughed. Or sobbed. It was difficult to differentiate. Whatever it was, it embarrassed her. She had to wipe her blasted eyes again. Nadine stood and rounded the table. She knelt beside her and peeled her hands away from her face. 

“I want us-,” Nadine started, but stopped. She cleared her throat and tried again. She drew Chloe forward and wrapped an arm around her hunched shoulders.“I'd like to try again. Actually try this time.” 

This was the moment Chloe Frazer yielded. She let her forehead rest against Nadine's shoulder and closed her eyes, breathed in the familiar scent of Nadine and then nodded. 

“Yeah. All right. I'd like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this for irritable. I wrote a million different other scenarios, but I kept coming back to her comment about exs being forced to work together. So, I scrapped everything and decided that since I felt this part was rushed in The Coin, to see if I could flesh it out just a bit more. *shrug*


End file.
